Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
This is another vaguely embarrassing one for Jennie.
This is Jennie, Dad and myself, taken a couple of decades ago now. Please ignore the hideous dresses, it was the Eighties. It makes me sad because I don’t have that relationship with my Dad anymore. I don’t know if I’ve ever written out my entire life story on here, and if I haven’t I’m not entirely sure if I will yet because I haven’t told most of the people involved how it’s all affected me. But I was raised in that little group. Me, Jennie and Dad, with Mum visiting as much as she could. That was my family.
It changed a lot after this picture. People arrived, discoveries were made, and when I was fifteen it all blew up. I left. I adore Michaela, and I know (finally) that I wouldn’t change my past because it brought me to where I am now with the people I know now, but I miss my dad. A lot.
My relationship with him is all but gone. A few years ago I told him I missed him, and he invited me to his anniversary party. It was an emotional day, and things were very strange. But while I reconnected with a favourite uncle and met a new favourite aunt, it didn’t change things with the rest of my family.
I miss my dad, a lot. But as long as certain factors are in play, I’m never going to get the chance to be the way I used to be with him. Even if those factors weren’t in play, I don’t think it’d ever be the same. And that makes me sadder than you can possibly imagine.