So this weekend my friend Michael from Basingstoke came up to stay. On Sunday he took a train into Liverpool to go to the Hillsborough Memorial Service, and after I mentioned that I haven’t been out in ages and could do with a day out, and because he’s an absolutely wonderful man, he paid for me to go to Liverpool too. I didn’t go to the service… I went shopping 😀 Because I’m a big girl. Not that I went clothes shopping or shoe shopping or anything. I went to Thornton’s, and Paperchase, and the Lego store. This is the type of girl that I am. I also took some pictures.
This is the Liverpool Eye. We were meant to be having a ride, but it took Michael a lot longer to get there after the service than we thought, and we didn’t get a chance.
I think this is a very good picture considering I couldn’t see anything at all while I was taking it.
The Yellow Duckmarine!! I didn’t fancy this one, but look how cool it is.
Tree! I got bored waiting for Michael.
My Liverpool zebra.. which I spent two days referring to as a giraffe.
Another picture I took while waiting for Michael.
Lego store!! I’d planned to buy some lego, but it’s expensive. VERY expensive.
The prettiest Costa Coffee in all the world.
The gravel around the base of the tree is glued down. Apparently Scousers can’t be trusted to not steal gravel.
By the end of the day I was tired and frustrated and hurting. I severely overestimated my ankle’s ability to walk so much after so long doing nothing. And the tour bus didn’t show up. But it was a good day. A brilliant day. And I had a couple of personal achievements too. I spoke to strangers. I told one lady her suitcase was open, and I had a whole conversation with a young knitter in the train station.
Talking to strangers is a big thing for me… especially considering I’ve been episoding for the past few weeks. I’ve been off my medication for various reasons. I have an appointment with the Dr this week and I’m hoping she’ll put me on a different anti-depressant, because mine isn’t working as well as it should.
Now that my weekend distractions (Liverpool! Taybarns! Alcohol!) are over, my episode is back. I’ve been struggling to sit up all day. I have things to do, and I WANT to do them, but my brain just wants to zone out. I’m trying really, really hard though. I read a couple of self-help e-books over the weekend and they weren’t as much drivel as I thought. Some of it really makes sense, and I’m trying to remember those bits.
TURN NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES.
CHOOSE TO THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS.
RELEASE THE PAST.
TALK TO STRANGERS.
SAY HELLO MORE.
I’m trying. I’m really trying. It’s hard to explain quite how hard it is, because people don’t often understand quite how difficult living with depression is. But I know that the people who read this who do have depression, or have dealt with it in others, will understand how big a triumph it is that I managed to speak to those strangers on Sunday.
It was definitely a good weekend.