Get to Know a Depressive

In my many adventures online I’ve found one or two sites that can be impossible to escape from.  Like YouTube.  That “Suggestions” bar down the side is evil.  Another site that’s like a big spider web is  They have millions and millions of funny/interesting/bizarre articles that are surrounded by links and suggestions to other articles.  I can spend hours on there!

One time last week I got drawn to this one:  27 Problems Only Introverts Will Understand

I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself an Introvert, but quite a few of them can apply to Depressives.  And I’m sharing them, because maybe they’ll help someone out there understand a depressive friend/family member a little better.

1) When you need to take breaks and recharge after socializing for too long.

This can be hard.  People don’t seem to realise how tired you can get, just from pushing down the big black ball of despair in your stomach so that you can seem normal for a short time.

2) When your friend wants to invite more people over, and you don’t want to sound like a dick by saying no.

This is not a problem I have a lot, as I tend to gravitate towards friends who prefer smaller groups, but it does happen.  Sometimes you use enough of your energy being with just one or two people, that the idea of expanding the group makes your head explode.  Especially if the new person is someone you don’t know.

3) When spending a heavenly weekend alone means that you’re missing out on time with friends.

Not necessarily at weekends, but this is happening to me more and more often.  I can’t always stomach company, but with my ever expanding social circle, alone time inevitably means that I’m missing out on something.  Which hurts, but at the same time, if I need to be alone, then I CAN’T go out and enjoy myself.

4) Having visitors stay with you is a nightmare because it means you have to be on at ALL TIMES.

This also applies when being a visitor.  I recently took a week’s trip to visit a couple of friends.  The first half of the trip I was with one of my best friends (also my exboyfriend) and I didn’t need to be on for a minute of it.  I could relax entirely.  For the other half of the trip I was with two of my other best friends, whom I love dearly, and I had an amazing time, but I was out and in public and therefore “on” for most of the time.  It’s exhausting.  At the moment I share a house with my mother, and occasionally she has friends round.  This week in particular my teenage sister is visiting and that means several of her friends as well.  There are people in this house nearly all the time, and sometimes I can’t handle that.

5) When people stop inviting you places because you keep cancelling plans.

This is one of my biggest fears.  As far as I’m aware, no one has stopped inviting me anywhere yet, but I have cancelled a lot of plans because I just can’t face it, and I worry all the time that I’m alienating the few friends I have.

6) That feeling of dread that washes over you when the phone rings and you’re not mentally prepared to chat.

I have a pleasant phone manner, I think, but I don’t like talking on the phone.  It unnerves me.  I will text chat with you all day long, but I’d prefer not to talk.

7) When people pressure you to be more social, whether you like it or not.

I know these people care about me, but sometimes I want to bash them in the face with a wet fish.  Some of them are even depressives themselves, but depression effects everyone differently.  I try.  I try so very hard to be social, and my social life is ten times what it was last year, but it still hurts and it still makes me physically sick when I try too hard, so let me go at my own pace.

Well, there you have it.  I try to put up a few insights into my depression quite often, and I hope that it helps people understand.


About Colette Horsburgh

A 30-something creator/baker/writer/doodler/crafter living with several (but not enough) scatty animals.
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